Identification of the Female Equestrian
Author Unknown
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Easy to locate, she's either off on the horse or out in the barn. Upholds the double standard: smooches with the most bewhiskered beast, but recoils when hubby needs a shave. Owns one vacuum cleaner and operates it exclusively in the barn. Economy minded: won't waste money on permanents, facials or manicures. A culinary perfectionist: checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave. Easy to outfit: no need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable little boutiques. You can find all she wears at your local tack store. Features a selective sense of smell: bitterly complains about hubby's sticky-sweet cigar smoke, while remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the heater. A master at multiplication: she starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it. Socially aware: knows that formal occasions call for clean boots. Easy to please: a new wheelbarrow, custom boots or even a folding hoof pick will win her heart forever. Shows her affection in unusual ways: if she pats you on the neck and says "you're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you! |